Three ways to combat imposter syndrome

Have you ever had that feeling that slides up and whispers in your ear, “One day, they’re going to figure it out”? What are they going to figure out? That you’re faking it? That you’re a phony? A fraud? That you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing?

It’s called Imposter Syndrome or Imposter Phenomenon. It is a condition in which successful people credit their successes to luck, being in the right place at the right time, or anything other than their ability, hard work, or perseverance.

This phenomenon was first described by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D. and Susan Imes, Ph.D. in 1978. The feeling that things happen to you because of some sort of fluke or twist of fate turned out to be much more common than Clance and Imes had imagined. In their paper, they discuss the specifics of Imposter Phenomenon and the potential (culturally and societally aggravated) gender implications.

So how can you start dealing with the imposter in the mirror?

1. Know you are not alone

Researching this topic, talking to people in my life about this condition, and listening to a numberof clients, has helped me to see that I am most certainly not alone.

I once had a former manager who was pretty amazing. She came in my office at the end of a particularly stressful and very LONG day, flopped down in my guest chair, threw her feet up on my desk and said, “So, what are you most afraid in this job, Eric?” Caught off guard, I stammered something about the acquisition that we were working through at the time, then I stopped myself. I looked her in the eyes and said, “Honestly, I’m afraid that you’re going to walk in here one day and tell me that you figured it out. You know that I’m totally faking my way through this job, through my career, and fire me.” To my surprise, she just laughed loudly, the kind of laugh you can hear across the whole floor! She said, “Dude, I’m afraid that you’re going to walk in here and say, ‘Why am I working for you?’ because you have figured out that I have no idea what I’m doing!”

Sound familiar? Remember that you’re not alone. Take solace in the fact that the most buttoned-up, successful people you know have had these thoughts at one time or another. Breathe in the fact that somewhere, right now, millions of people are doing superstitious rituals to ensure that their presentation goes well, that the meeting is a success, or that they get the deal done. They’re listening to the same album, driving the same route, or wearing their “lucky socks,” instead of believing in themselves.

2. Step up and just own it

Attributing your success to luck, fate or some sort of voodoo magic is a deflection tactic that sufferers of Imposter Syndrome employ. If others go out of their way to compliment you on an achievement, do not minimise their opinion or belittle their assessment.
Accept the compliment, and perhaps even celebrate it. Even when compliments are hard to accept, smile, listen, and say thank you. On the drive home, replay the tape of that compliment in your head. Think about how you’d feel if you believed that compliment to be 100% true. Revel in that feeling.

3. Celebrate successes, all of them

There is no victory too small to celebrate. We often short-change ourselves. When things crash and burn, we will “post-mortem” them for long periods of time. When things go well, we tend to simply move on to the next thing on our to-do lists. Pause, breathe and enjoy the victory.

To combat this, I recommend forming an ‘Accountability Group’ with some friends. Create a safe place where you can share the imposter feelings, successes, and prop each other up when things are tough. This doesn’t have to be a big deal – two or three people whom you trust. Set up a Skype Room or Google Hangout and jump on once a month.

To sum up, we’ve earned what we’ve won. Despite our best efforts to wrest it away from ourselves, we deserve it. In the immortal words of Stuart Smalley (self-help guru from Saturday Night Live in the 90s), we’re good enough, we’re smart enough, and people like us!

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