
Help! I’m 41 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up
How often do you look at your peer group and feel a twinge of career envy? I enjoy my job but I frequently wonder what I would have achieved had I done something different with my life. However, if I am honest with myself, I just don’t know what that “something” would be. Never have I felt a burning desire to inspire others with my teaching or build a rocket to fly to the moon. And I think that’s half the problem, I have never had an ultimate career goal.
At University I was jealous of my friends studying medicine or law – they had a very clear vocation in life; a career path against which their success could be easily measured. I still don’t have that, but over the years I have learnt a few things:
1. To embrace the lack of direction
“I’m not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost” wrote AA Milne. It’s OK to feel a bit directionless now and again. There are plenty of people like me that don’t have a single-minded vision of their career.
2. Maybe there isn’t a perfect career
My first “proper job” was in banking. I hated it. I used to return home from work every day feeling so dejected. I remember my Mum saying “All jobs are boring, you just have to get on with it”. Thankfully that wasn’t true and I just wasn’t cut out for spread sheets. Having tried a few things since then, I am getting better at knowing what I enjoy. However, I have come to the realisation that there probably isn’t a perfect job for me. So rather than expending energy on tirelessly searching for that ideal career, I try to make the most of where I am!
3. If it’s not right, do something different
You do not have to have a career for life anymore. We are really lucky that we live in a world where a change of direction is possible. You can try out other people lives by volunteering or work shadowing. At 41, it is unlikely I will ever be a NASA astronaut now but with enough effort and by developing the right transferrable skill set, I can change the direction of my career.
In the words of the writer Katherine Mansfield, “I want to be all that I am capable of becoming”. Maybe one day I will work out what that is!
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